Child-naming Gone Bad: Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii
How do you name your child? Do you call a family gathering, hunker down with Cross century pens and a ream of papers, write down possible names for the little one, and then vote over the names that sounds nicest?
Naming Children
In the old days, child-naming was more straightforward. Parents did not have to tick names off a list using their Cross pens. Expectant parents either named children after a grandparent, aunt, or uncle, or bestowed them with names that seemed to describe them best - think Indian names like Little Foot, Big Rock, and Strong as the Wind. There was no elaborate fuss over whom the child should be named after.
Odd and Odder
Today, parents agonize over their children’s names. Thanks to celebrities’ penchant for picking out outlandish names, the rest of humanity are doing the same too. Children’s names are getting longer and [spin]odder by the minute.
More recently, a couple in New Zealand lost custody of their daughter when they named her Talula Does the Hula from Hawaii. A family court judge gave the order after it was learned the child felt so humiliated by the name she refused to share it with her friends. Rather than admit her parents had named her Talula Does the Hula from Hawaii, the little girl claimed her name is K.
Quirky Is Not Always Criminal
In his ruling, the judge said parents should not give their children strange names as this exposes them to ridicule by their peers. He pointed out poor judgment when it comes to names would only be a social disability and an unnecessary handicap to a child who, unwittingly, has to bear the burden of being called Talula Does the Hula from Hawaii. To demonstrate his point better, the judge gave a list of names that may be deemed detrimental to a child’s well-being, among them:
1. Yeah Detroit
2. Sex Fruit
3. Fish and Chips
4. Stallion
5. Keenan Got Lucy
6. Twisty Poi
Not all odd names are considered damaging to child psychology, though. In fact, in the same ruling, the judge also included names that, though strange, were allowed by the court, specifically:
1. Number 16 Bus Shelter
2. tragically, Violence
3. Midnight Chardonnay
This ruling brings to light one aspect of New Zealand legislation that is not like any in the world. Before parents can whip out a Cross pen set and register the quirky name of their child, they have to consider the law does not allow names that would cause offense to a reasonable person.
Posted on: Wednesday, August 27, 2008 at 4:25 pm 
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